Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
