All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
