he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
