Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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