you didnt know i had herpes?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Never joke about your clitoris.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
