The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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