I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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