Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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