Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You may now shotgun with the bride
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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