i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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