I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
