my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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