I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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