11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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