I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
