Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
