talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
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