dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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