all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I bet he comes in French.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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