i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
