her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He did a backflip because drugs
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