So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
