Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I am naked and annoyed.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
