i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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