I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
