i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
