she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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