You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
