Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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