all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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