So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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