Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
