Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
