please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
