We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize