my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize