ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
