he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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