A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
