I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
