using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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