I just made out with a guy for $7.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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