this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
