Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
