If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
