She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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