And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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