And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
