Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
