Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
