I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
