she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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