So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize