So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
