There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
