you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize