u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
