did you get engaged???
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
