I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
