I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize