I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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